1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,120 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,640 On a scale of one to ten, how strong are your feelings? 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,120 Previously... 4 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:09,640 9.5. CHEERING 5 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,840 ..while the dinner party brought some couples closer... 6 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,440 Why are you just the best human? 7 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,560 ..others grew further apart. 8 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,480 I don't think I can stay. What am I doing here? 9 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,320 I'm at the point of my life now, 10 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,960 I need to know you want the same thing. 11 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,840 I haven't got time to waste. 12 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,920 And Nelly and Steven's marriage... 13 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,680 He BLEEP like, two weeks before he came here. 14 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,120 Oi! ..was rocked by rumours in the group. 15 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,760 Who has decided to say I was talking about my sexual activity? 16 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,280 You did. We were all there. 17 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,680 People are starting to BLEEP me off like that, that, that. 18 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:41,920 BLEEP! BLEEP! 19 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,760 Wow! Did he just say that? 20 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,080 Tonight... 21 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,240 I get bored saying the same thing 22 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,760 over and over again. You keep saying that. 23 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,760 Don't antagonise me, then. Don't raise your voice at me. 24 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,840 Nelly and Steven continue to clash. 25 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,040 BLEEP idiot! 26 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,880 Why am I liking someone who's treating me like this? 27 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,080 Ahead of a tense... 28 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,360 We have hit an issue this week. 29 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,080 If this is the way it is, I can't do this forever. 30 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,400 ..and emotional commitment ceremony. 31 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,520 My mindset really hasn't shifted that much. 32 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,960 Sorry. I've just got to jump in. 33 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,040 It's time to actually take responsibility. 34 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,160 This week has been awful. It's been hell. 35 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,240 I don't know who you are. 36 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:33,360 Oh, they feel, like, weird. Oh, they're soggy little doggies. 37 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,960 Make me pretty. Paint me like one of your French girls. 38 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,320 Yes, ma'am. 39 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,280 It's the morning after an eventful dinner party. 40 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,640 Here's your brew, love. 41 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,080 INDISTINCT 42 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,920 So, last night. I knew something was going to kick off. 43 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,320 I could feel it in my bones. Just... 44 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,120 It's just Chinese whispers all the time, man. 45 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,920 It's all going to come out in the end, do you know what I mean? 46 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,840 Yeah. I felt sorry for Nelly. 47 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,760 To be fair, I didn't expect Steven to sort of lose his rag. To me, 48 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,160 what that proved last night, though, 49 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,000 those two are so different, like, emotionally. 50 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,600 Yeah. 51 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,080 Didn't expect the whole night to be so focused on Nelly and Steven. 52 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,440 I feel like it just kind of spiralled, didn't it? 53 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,520 And then when all that kicked off, 54 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,560 and Divarni's wife is having an argument with Steven. 55 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,040 Divarni was just chilling next to me, just like... It was... 56 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,200 The whole thing was awkward. 57 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,480 If he had just stood up, I feel like that would have meant the world. 58 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:30,560 Mm. 59 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,280 Oh. How are you feeling about last night? 60 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,400 It was intense. Mm-hm. Defo. 61 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,680 What? I was talking about my sexual activity. 62 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,040 Yeah. You did. No, I was not. 63 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,840 At last night's dinner party, 64 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,040 Julia-Ruth felt let down by her husband's actions. 65 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,240 Divarni, Maeve, you were there. So what is it? 66 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,080 Divarni, don't leave me hanging. 67 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,160 No, seriously. 68 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,120 I don't need anyone to, like, fight my battles. 69 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,760 I can do that. But I think 70 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,640 if I'm calling your name, I need you to step up and... 71 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,720 And be there. Yeah. It is what it is. 72 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,520 I knew I should have had your back at that moment in time, 73 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,280 and I take full accountability for it. 74 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,840 It's just that he was yelling across 75 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,360 the room, and I just felt like no-one was defending Nelly. 76 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,680 And, yeah, I was looking for confirmation from me. 77 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,600 You're my husband. 78 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,240 It was wrong for me not stepping up and obviously being there for you. 79 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,240 I did feel bad. Going forward, 100% I'm going to be there 80 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,520 for any confrontation that takes place. 81 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,960 He said what he said, he's apologised, 82 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,920 but there's no place to hide with the commitment ceremonies. 83 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,680 I think sometimes he likes to preach 84 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,320 a big game, but then the actions don't match. 85 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,400 Today's decision is very important, but I feel like it reflects the week 86 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,040 that Divarni and I have had together. 87 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,520 It was a bit of a crazy one last night. It was, wasn't it? I know. 88 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,000 Last night's dinner party, for me, 89 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,720 I could sense that there was an awkward energy in the room. 90 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,880 Dean and I had our first argument. 91 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,320 I'd made a comment that Dean didn't like, 92 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,240 so I am very nervous for the commitment ceremony. 93 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,880 I obviously didn't have a great time last week, 94 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,760 so I really just want to have a clean slate 95 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,000 and just move on and not be in the fighting line. 96 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,120 You know? 97 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,960 I have been making more of an effort. 98 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,360 I did throw myself into the intimacy workshop, I have been trying. 99 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,400 I'm not just sort of like 100 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,040 shying away from anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 101 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,120 Do you know what I mean? 102 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,680 You are genuinely such a lovely person. 103 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:31,920 You have got a heart of gold. 104 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,040 But I just think people don't understand. 105 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,400 They haven't seen that side of you yet. 106 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,800 No. Obviously, we had that blip, that argument, 107 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,920 but we've dealt with that. 108 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,960 That will be... It'll be... It'll be fine. 109 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,320 You won't get shouted at tonight. 110 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,960 Walking into the dinner party was slightly disappointing. 111 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,720 I thought we would perhaps come together. 112 00:04:55,760 --> 00:05:00,160 Why didn't you want to come to the dinner party with me? 113 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,760 That was me kind of taking a step back. 114 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,000 Judge me after six, eight, ten weeks, 115 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,760 don't judge me after two weeks. 116 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,600 I'm at a point of my life now where I need to know where I stand. 117 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,920 I need to know you want the same thing. 118 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,240 Time's precious. 119 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,520 Anita and I have lots of positives. 120 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,080 The most important ones we have are the values. 121 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,920 Manners, respect, understanding, compassion. 122 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,120 For me, that's a great foundation stone. 123 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,600 I'm hoping that that can be built on. 124 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,880 My only regret off yesterday 125 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,440 was not actually arriving at the dinner party with Paul. 126 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,680 I didn't want to give them the wrong impression. 127 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:47,680 I do adore Paul. He's a gentleman. He pulls the chairs out, 128 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,120 he puts the chair in. He's very attentive, 129 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,640 but he's never very clear on stuff. Paul will go around the houses 130 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,040 and still come back with two answers. 131 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,640 I'm really unsure of where I stand. 132 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:04,160 Your decision to go separately was disappointing. 133 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,840 When I look back and think 134 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,760 that maybe if I'd just said, we'll go together. 135 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,080 But I just panicked. 136 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,040 We had a good week, spent time together, 137 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:20,400 and I thought...perhaps 138 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,480 things were going in the right direction. 139 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,760 I can see some of the reasons why they've matched us, 140 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,120 but I'm a great believer in time's precious. 141 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:34,360 Well, it's a ten-week experiment. This is week two. 142 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,400 I take time, don't I? 143 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,760 And I think it's always been abundant 144 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,920 that you've wanted to get there quicker. 145 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,480 Yeah. 146 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,800 Today's a massive decision. 147 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,520 All marriages are a work in progress. 148 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:53,000 I've said all along that it takes me time to grow. 149 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:57,320 And perhaps time is something she will give me 150 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,960 to find the love and compassion that's inside me. 151 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:07,240 Today's commitment ceremony and my decision is very important. 152 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:10,360 I said I would put 100% into the experiment 153 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:15,800 and try and grow and see where the relationship goes to. 154 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,240 I've got lots to think about. 155 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,760 Pros and cons of staying. 156 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:26,040 Pros and cons of leaving. Deep down, I really don't know what to do. 157 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,000 I feel good going into today. 158 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,880 I would have woke up feeling much better today 159 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,680 if I knew I'd had a hot candle wax massage, but... 160 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,600 ..you know, today's a new day. 161 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,680 I'm hoping that, like after the week we've had this week, 162 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,520 we can move forward in a positive way. 163 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,960 I was just knackered last night, so we will do that this week. 164 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,760 Everyone's gonna ask you the question. 165 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,280 Did you give me a massage? 166 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,160 It definitely hasn't been the smoothest week for Leigh and I. 167 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,400 I think physical intimacy does need to come. 168 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,560 It's important, you know, 169 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,160 in marriage you've got to commit to it. 170 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,240 You've got to do your homework, Leigh. 171 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,440 At the end of the day, 172 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,880 that whole situation with Rebecca is well and truly put to bed. 173 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,840 I think we're definitely on the same page now. 174 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,840 Yeah. I hope so. I've got feelings attached 175 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:19,120 to this Rebecca situation. At the commitment ceremony, 176 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,440 I'm hoping to just speak about 177 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,600 what certain feelings might mean or where they're coming from, 178 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:27,280 and just get some advice on how we can move forward. 179 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,360 Maybe less pressure on the intimacy, 180 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,440 because I'm tired of hearing about it. 181 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,120 I'm going to get asked loads of questions about 9.5 Bay. 182 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,440 Oh, my God! 9.5. What? You don't like that? 183 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,760 I just didn't think you would 184 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,760 declare your love for me in that way. 185 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,160 "Declare your love." Jesus! I'm looking forward to it. 186 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,640 Can't wait for tonight. Yeah. Me, too. I'm excited. Mm. 187 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,200 I'm a bit anxious about the commitment ceremony. This week 188 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,840 with Ashley's been up and down. 189 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,880 He thinks I pick up on too much. 190 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,960 And I think he's oblivious to a lot 191 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,360 of the things he says and how they come across. 192 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,840 I'm not looking forward to the kind of things 193 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,960 that me and Ash have to share with the experts. 194 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,680 Yeah, it's intimacy based. Yeah. 195 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,400 That makes me anxious because I'm private. 196 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,280 I don't like the idea of having 197 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:27,000 a very personal conversation quite publicly. 198 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,880 But I will have to on this occasion. 199 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,400 I think it's good that we're starting to speak. 200 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:35,200 We've got as far as we can take it, and we do want help. 201 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,360 I think it's going to help. It's going to make it better. 202 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,160 Oh, yoi, yoi, yoi. 203 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,560 I think this is going to be 204 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,800 a really big commitment ceremony for Grace and I. 205 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,800 She's been at me to not speak about the intimacy side, 206 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,560 but I think we've hit a stage now where I don't 207 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,680 feel like we're moving forward. 208 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,800 So I'm going to open up today with the experts. 209 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,560 Last night's dinner party was very intense. 210 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,960 Other people getting involved in Nelly and I's relationship 211 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,600 is something I always wanted to avoid. 212 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,240 But I think for me, going into 213 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,800 the commitment ceremony today, I'm a little bit up in the air. 214 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,520 Maybe when the pen hits the paper, I'll actually make a decision then. 215 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:23,920 This week, there's been way more downs than there have been ups. 216 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,040 I broke my rib and Steven stayed out till 217 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,520 the very end of the night, and he was the last one to come home. 218 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,360 Even though he said he's got making up to do 219 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,120 and he's going to really work on that this week, 220 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,440 I still fear that he doesn't understand why I feel the way I do, 221 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,560 and it makes me feel really neglected. 222 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,040 Where do I start? 223 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,080 You were discussing your previous history 224 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,680 on the day that you should have been at home with me. 225 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,600 When they started bringing up my dating history, 226 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,720 and who I may or may not have slept with 227 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,320 before the experiment started, is totally irrelevant to this. 228 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,560 It's adding more fuel to the fire. But I think it's just 229 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,160 why is he talking about that when he should be checking in on me? 230 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,120 Why is that even relevant? 231 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,800 The girls have set you down and said, 232 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,160 "Oh, this is going around about Steven." But it's like, "Back off!" 233 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,240 That doesn't... 234 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,280 I don't think this conversation is going anywhere. 235 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,680 The relationship is going round in circles. 236 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,720 Fuck me. 237 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,680 Don't get mad at me. When am I getting mad at you? 238 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,080 It's going round and round in circles. 239 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,160 I get bored of saying the same thing over and over again. 240 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,120 You keep saying that. Because I have to fucking say it. 241 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,080 Don't raise your voice at me. 242 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,960 Don't fucking antagonise me, then, Nelly. Simple as that. 243 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,720 You're not a child. You can handle your own emotions. 244 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,040 Yeah, I can handle my own emotions. And don't shout at me. 245 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,200 Don't fucking antagonise me, Nelly. You're not a child. 246 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,720 You can... Don't fucking call me... Don't say I'm not a child as well. 247 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,240 Don't tell me not to antagonise you. 248 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,600 I'm not antagonising you. You're doing exactly that. So let's just not talk. 249 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,040 I'm not antagonising anyone, so don't speak to me that way. 250 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,480 Let's just not talk. Don't speak 251 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,240 to me that way. OK. Let's just not talk. Fine. 252 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,880 Sorry? 253 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,640 I said fucking idiot! 254 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,360 That's what I said. 255 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,240 Name-calling is the nastiest thing ever. 256 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,040 There you go. Don't name call. 257 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,160 I think it's disgusting when people name call. 258 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,480 Where is your empathy in this? Where are you thinking, 259 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,800 "You know what, Nells, 260 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,600 "poor girl has had a really rough week." 261 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,240 And then you've called me a fucking idiot. 262 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:26,520 Like that's so rude. 263 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,600 That is a line that you I can't deal with. 264 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,560 It sucks. I don't want to be here in this position. 265 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,600 I feel like a bit of a clown. 266 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,640 I feel like I should just go and put some clown make-up on. 267 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,680 Why am I liking someone who's treating me like this? 268 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,160 I don't think name-calling me is making up to me, hon. 269 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,240 It's not. 270 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,800 I think it's disgusting. 271 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,640 It's something that I'm never going to tolerate. 272 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,000 That is the first and last time you will speak to me like that. 273 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,240 Welcome to the second commitment ceremony. 274 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,640 We know this week has brought some of you closer, 275 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,560 and posed new challenges for others. 276 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,440 Please put your trust in us 277 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,280 and bring your true thoughts and feelings to the couch. 278 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,520 Let's get started. 279 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,880 First up to the couch, Maeve and Joe. 280 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,560 All right. Hiya. Hello. 281 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:12,320 This is very natural body language right here. Yes. You two together. 282 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,120 And also, you know there's coordination going on. 283 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,480 It's a vibe. It's my idea as well. Yeah, it actually is! 284 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,920 It makes us a team as well, doesn't it? 285 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,760 Everyone knows we're together, so. So you're a team? 286 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,400 Yeah, of course we are. Yeah, 100%. I love it. 287 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,680 This week, I came to your apartment. Yeah. You did. 288 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:33,040 So this was ultimately about building self-worth. 289 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,000 And it was changing the script in your mind, 290 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,480 Maeve, around not believing 291 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,680 when someone tells you something positive. 292 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,720 Yeah. I actually don't know how I feel. 293 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,760 I get the compliment. Obviously, it's nice to hear, 294 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,800 but, like, I actually don't know what to do after. 295 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:55,160 Do you remember what I asked you to say in the exercise? 296 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,000 Joe could even help you out. 297 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,800 I believe it, I receive it, and I thank you. 298 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:07,240 That's it. Yeah. You believe it 299 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,400 and you're appreciative that the compliment came. 300 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,920 And the more that you do this, 301 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,400 I promise you, you will rewrite the script. 302 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,120 And it may take some time, 303 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,160 because that negative script has been ingrained in you for so long. 304 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,600 Like, I'm actually starting to, like, 305 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,280 believe what he's saying. He said, obviously, 306 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,560 that I make you feel 307 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,680 more comfortable in social situations. Yeah. 308 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,400 But then, obviously, like, I believe that because how we opened up 309 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,920 like yesterday at the dinner party. 310 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,800 Like, that was a massive thing for you to do. 311 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,600 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like so proud of him. 312 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,960 And I think, like, I don't want to speak on behalf of everyone, 313 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,520 but I do think everyone else is so proud of him for doing it. 314 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,360 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Did you see that? Yay! 315 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,080 But this is why I feel the way I do about you. 316 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,040 Because you're just so... 317 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,640 You have my back so much. And just... 318 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,400 That's why I feel so strongly about you, 319 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,320 because she's such a great person. 320 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,800 Oh. It's OK. 321 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,920 I've just found, like... God! Why am I crying? 322 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,000 It's OK. 323 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,440 You want a tissue? 324 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,000 I've just found the whole thing quite overwhelming. 325 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,200 Just the whole process. That's where she's just been 326 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,480 such a solid rock for me. 327 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,920 She knows what I've been through in the past with, 328 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,240 like, the booze and what have you, 329 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:32,240 but she's just been so reliable and so strong for me. 330 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,000 She's literally got a heart of gold. So it's like, 331 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,360 that's why I'm getting emotional 332 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,040 because I've never actually met someone that's 333 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:43,160 so selfless in a relationship. 334 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,200 We just know we're there for each other... Yeah. ..when we need it. 335 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,280 But my sort of... 336 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,120 That's what it's all about. Yeah. Having each other's back. 337 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:53,480 You've got to. My sort of biggest worry in our relationship, 338 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,240 though, is obviously with my past, 339 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,520 the drinking and the drugs and stuff like that. 340 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,520 She's very much... Likes to party. Yeah. 341 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,080 Which is absolutely fine, and I do it now and again. 342 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:07,160 But my biggest worry is that I don't want to be like the fun sponge. 343 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,800 Yeah, but you're not going to be. 344 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:09,960 If I don't want to go out, 345 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,520 I'm choosing not to go out because I'd rather be with you. 346 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,600 Yeah. I think, Joe, 347 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,680 it's very important to hear what Maeve is saying. 348 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,320 Yeah. What she's telling you is 349 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:23,600 that she prefers to spend time with you because of you. 350 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,800 She's giving you a compliment. Mm-hm. 351 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,920 It's very important for you to receive 352 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,160 and believe what she is saying. 353 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,240 I've never had calm in my life. 354 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,160 There's always been drama constantly. 355 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,240 And when I'm with Joe, it's quiet. He's me calm. 356 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,600 And that's all I've ever wanted. 357 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,360 I know it sounds silly, but I like it. 358 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,280 It doesn't sound silly at all. 359 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,880 What is better than being able to spend time 360 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,640 with someone that you feel safe with, 361 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,160 that gives you strength, 362 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,880 that is helping you to become a better person. 363 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,040 What's better than that? 364 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,600 Yeah. Yeah. 365 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:07,280 I think you're amazing. And I've been in love before... 366 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,400 ..and I've been trying to find love again. 367 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,280 And I genuinely think I am. Well, 368 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,960 I have fallen in love with, you know. 369 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,760 I'm getting the hot flush. 370 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,360 100%. So there you go. 371 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,080 Oh! 372 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,400 I can't tell you how much you actually mean to me. 373 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,880 I just honestly, like, I've never met anyone like you. 374 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,880 Ever. And you know what it is, yeah. 375 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,440 I do love you, too. 376 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,080 Oh, my God! 377 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,680 We are all hot here. 378 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,240 Get this, get this, get this. 379 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,200 I think we should just get right to a decision. 380 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,320 All right. Yeah, this is a pretty obvious answer. 381 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,880 You know the way I feel about you. 382 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,440 I do love you. And I honestly can't wait to see 383 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,440 what the rest of this process, 384 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,160 and hopefully beyond, has in store for us. 385 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,600 So it's stay. 386 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,760 Oh! 387 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,920 Maeve? 388 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,320 I just honestly want to say, like, 389 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:33,640 thank you for everything. 390 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,440 Each day I'm learning something new about myself. 391 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,680 And, honestly, like, I can't 392 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,400 tell you how much I actually appreciate you. 393 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,920 So, um, I'm staying. 394 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,800 We've seen incredible growth between the two of you. 395 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,720 We're so incredibly proud of you. 396 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,480 Thank you so much. Well done, guys. Thank you. 397 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,880 Ah! You're in love! 398 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,600 I know! What the fuck! 399 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,920 Next up... 400 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,960 Julia-Ruth and Divarni. 401 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,760 Hello. Hello, you two. Welcome. 402 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,600 All right. How are you both feeling? Feeling good? 403 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,400 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 404 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,720 Now, I know you had 405 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,320 the values ranking experience this week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 406 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,160 So why don't you help us understand what happened there? 407 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,160 Er... Should I go first or...? Yeah, go for it. 408 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,080 Obviously, the values was quite different. 409 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:53,240 So for me, I put children first, 410 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,680 and then I put sex eight, and then I put looks nine. 411 00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,440 So we did differ in those three categories. 412 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,080 The children part made sense for us 413 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,880 in terms of Divarni, your kid is everything. 414 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,560 Of course that made more sense. But I think the bulk of it, 415 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,120 which was concerning or a challenge for us, 416 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,600 was that you were saying work, occupation, 417 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,600 money was something 418 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:18,200 you valued way more than like sex and looks. 419 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,160 I just was confused as to why was that low? 420 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,280 I didn't believe it 100%, if I'm honest. 421 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:26,920 What do you say to that, Divarni? 422 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,800 When I went into this challenge 100%, 423 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:34,000 I did it all authentically. And that's what made sense to me. 424 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,720 Are we saying here that as a couple, 425 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:41,200 one of you puts a high priority on attraction 426 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,680 and sex, and the other doesn't? 427 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,960 Or that you just prioritise them differently? 428 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,840 I think just prioritise them differently. 429 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,640 Like, what I said after the challenge, 430 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,120 it was like, it's beautiful 431 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,400 that we didn't match in any of the categories. 432 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,120 So even if sex was low, it doesn't mean 433 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,560 that I don't prioritise that. Do you know what I mean? 434 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,920 I just feel like it's just something that's just going 435 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,360 to be a day by day situation. 436 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,200 But I don't think that the values that was obviously presented 437 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,560 was going to be a deal breaker, and I don't think it will be. 438 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,280 So these activities are really a great starting point 439 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,360 for some really good conversation about 440 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,200 what are our priorities in life, 441 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,960 and where are the similarities and where are the differences. 442 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,240 And I guess it's how you now bring that into your relationship. 443 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,680 I feel like we've asked each other questions 444 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,760 and challenge each other on where we've sat things. 445 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,720 I feel like we've been trying our best in terms of that. Yeah. 446 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,520 So aside from the challenges around differing values, 447 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,440 we also saw at the dinner party last night some conflict 448 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,760 that you had with Steven, and your sense 449 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,520 that Divarni wasn't really there having you back. 450 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,080 I mean, she's a tough cookie, 451 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,760 and I'll, like, always fight my own battles and that. 452 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,280 But I think if I'm saying Divarni, and I'm calling your name, 453 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,240 and then you don't step up and you just sit in quietly. 454 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,560 It was a bit disappointing to not 455 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,520 have your support there because you were there, but nothing. 456 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,120 And I just got left to hang out dry by myself. 457 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,120 Yeah. Yeah. 458 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,880 I don't ask for help, 459 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,800 and I just felt like I was calling for my husband, 460 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,040 and you didn't say anything. 461 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,600 And I felt really exposed and vulnerable. 462 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,400 Just kind of let it down. So what stopped you, 463 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,920 Divarni, from supporting her in that moment? 464 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,960 I think I just felt like didn't want to fuel the fire. 465 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,760 Um, but generally I do stand up. 466 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,440 But you didn't. No. And it's had an impact on your wife. 467 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,440 If you had your time over, what would you do differently? 468 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,160 Definitely stand up. 469 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,240 And then I'll comfort her 470 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,960 to obviously know that I've got her back. 471 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,360 Yeah. So just some sort of acknowledgement, 472 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,840 or get up and come to me or just something. 473 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,240 Mm. 474 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,280 It's not about getting involved in conflict. 475 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,240 It's about giving your wife your support. 476 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,400 There are clearly some issues for the two of you around values. 477 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,960 There was a sense that perhaps you weren't quite getting to 478 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,320 that point of reading each other and listening, 479 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,600 and maybe understanding what each other was needing. 480 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,120 Whether that's the importance of sex 481 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,680 or support in an argument, it's about talking and communication. 482 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,280 We're going to go to a decision. 483 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,120 Divarni, we'll start with you today. 484 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,280 OK. Obviously, we had a little hiccup yesterday. 485 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,240 Every relationship has to go through conflict. 486 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,240 Um, I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. 487 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,640 I'm very excited to build 488 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,440 that emotional connection, and I know that we will get there. 489 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,800 And so my final decision is to stay. 490 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,560 Julia-Ruth? Um... 491 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,040 I feel like the values task shed a lot of light on our relationship, 492 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,720 and I just want to keep having some of those tougher conversations. 493 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,880 Hopefully, there's no more conflict in future. 494 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,720 So, yes, I stay. 495 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,520 Lovely. Thank you, guys. I hope you have a great week. 496 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,880 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 497 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,160 Next up on the couch... 498 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:20,920 ..Sarah and Dean. 499 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,920 INDISTINCT 500 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,960 Hello. Hi. Hello. Good to see the two of you. And you guys. 501 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,360 You, too, as well. So, guys, how has your week been? 502 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,840 I mean, the intimacy workshop with yourself. 503 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,760 We went in with an open mind because that was one of the things 504 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,080 that we have been struggling with is the intimacy side. 505 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:46,080 But I have to say, since then we are still taking baby steps... Yeah. 506 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:49,360 ..but we've been, like, holding hands... Like, cuddling... 507 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,400 Cuddling, just taking it slow. 508 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,320 I think there's a big pressure build up because we had done nothing. 509 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,080 So, you know, it's kind of good to have that workshop 510 00:25:55,120 --> 00:25:56,520 because that just popped that bubble. 511 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,200 We're like, "Oh, it is OK. Like, it's my wife. 512 00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,960 "Of course I can like, touch her if I want to." You know? 513 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,720 It's kind of nice to kind of get that. 514 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,960 We did have a bump in the road. We had an argument. 515 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,640 Yeah, our first argument. 516 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,280 What are we referring to? 517 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:14,280 Um, we all went for drinks, kind of come back to our apartments. 518 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,360 There was a producer there as well. 519 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,440 And then there was like a comment made. 520 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,600 Yeah, it was a silly comment that I made. 521 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,280 And he isn't into women, so it's not 522 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,400 as if it was anything... Do you know, it was silly. And... 523 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,560 What was the comment, Sarah? That I found him attractive, basically. 524 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,320 That you found the producer attractive? Yeah. OK. 525 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:33,640 And was that said in the presence of Dean? 526 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,480 Yeah, yeah. It was just a comment that I made. 527 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,280 It was kind of just banter. ..yeah. OK. 528 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,680 And then we'd gone upstairs and Dean had sort of said, you know... 529 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,000 Yeah, you weren't happy. And I get it. 530 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,800 When I heard her say that, I was like, 531 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,880 "Damn, is she ever gonna say that about me?" 532 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,960 And it kind of just triggered something in me. Oh. Yeah. 533 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,080 I was like, I don't think I can do this because I don't know 534 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,720 if you're ever going to feel that way. 535 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,760 It's like, "Jesus, like, what am I doing here? 536 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,040 "Like, I just want to hear that said to me, you know, from my wife." 537 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,960 It has made us stronger, though. Do you not think? 538 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,560 It kind of has, because it was our first argument. 539 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:17,120 I think, Dean, what you have to be careful of is to not take the blame 540 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,920 for something that someone else has done. 541 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,080 Yeah, yeah. No, definitely. I've said that. 542 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:24,280 Don't forget or diminish your feelings in all this. 543 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,320 It's OK to feel hurt and express that. 544 00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:28,680 Just say. Tell me. Say. 545 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,280 Don't pretend that you're OK all the time. 546 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,040 I'd rather you said. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. 547 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,560 I think what we'd all rather hear, 548 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,720 Sarah, to be totally honest, is that you stop doing it. 549 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,440 Yeah, I will. Yeah, absolutely. OK. 550 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,320 You know, you've said something disrespectful. 551 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:43,400 You've apologised. 552 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,080 You've said something disrespectful, you've apologised. 553 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:50,040 It's time to actually take responsibility. Yeah. 100%. 554 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,800 Yeah. And to not just say you've got 555 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,120 the hots for some guy. 556 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,160 You know, that's very immature, 557 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,520 sort of 15-year-old behaviour. 558 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,720 You're an adult, and you're in a serious relationship here. 559 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,280 There's a lot at stake. 560 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,680 It's time to actually take responsibility. Yeah. 100%. 561 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,200 Yeah. And to not just say you've got 562 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,560 the hots for some guy. You know, that's very immature, 563 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,920 sort of 15-year-old behaviour. 564 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,120 You're an adult, and you're in a serious relationship here. 565 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:34,400 There's a lot at stake. 566 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:39,400 I completely agree, 567 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,320 and I take full responsibility and put my hands up. 568 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,680 And I am so sorry, I really am. 569 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,280 I just need to know why I am behaving like this. 570 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:52,200 Because before coming here, I was this ball of sunshine, and I just, 571 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,400 I feel like since I've come here, I've sort of lost that. 572 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:55,520 And I don't know why. 573 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,480 Because I'm not a disrespectful person, 574 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,440 and I don't like the way that I'm behaving. 575 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:05,000 I don't. What we're saying is just be a bit more mindful. 576 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,240 You know, you are in a relationship... I know. And I wonder 577 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,120 if part of the reason you're able 578 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,760 to say some of these things is maybe because you're not putting 579 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,120 those boundaries in place 580 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,880 to say this isn't acceptable behaviour. 581 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,800 It's about for you, Dean, to say, "These are my boundaries. 582 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,080 "I will not tolerate this." And for you, 583 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,840 Sarah, to actually do it. Yeah. He needs to see that. 584 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:29,920 Yeah. 585 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,920 Let's go to the decisions. Dean? 586 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,280 We have improved. But then I did have that fear of 587 00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,440 if we're going nowhere, why would I stay? 588 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:41,560 Mm. 589 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,720 Am I going to leave? Am I going to run? 590 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,880 I'm here to find out about me as well as find out about us, 591 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,400 so I think I owe it to myself, 592 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,160 as well as us as a couple, to keep pushing forward. 593 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,800 So I've decided to stay. 594 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,960 Thank you. And, Sarah, what's your decision? 595 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,960 Yeah, I think the absolute world of you. 596 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,400 I think you're an absolute gem. 597 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,160 I apologise again for my actions and behaviour. 598 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:10,720 I am learning so much about myself. 599 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,680 This obviously is a really intense process. 600 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,560 And I'm gonna give this week my everything, 601 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,560 and I want to continue to see how it goes. 602 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,160 And so I am also going to stay. 603 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,600 What I'd really like you guys to take from this. 604 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:28,760 Sarah, I think just be a bit 605 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,600 more mindful... Yeah, of course. ..about what you're saying. 606 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,440 And, Dean, it's OK to say, "This is how I want you to treat me, 607 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,320 "and this is not acceptable." 608 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,960 And I think it's important for you to kind of practise that. 609 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,480 I know it's something I need to work on. 610 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,240 Yeah. Thanks, guys. Thank you, guys. Cheers. 611 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,280 Cheers. Thank you. Thank you. 612 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,360 Next up, Keye and Davide. 613 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:04,480 So nervous, aren't you? Wow! You're even walking in unison. 614 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,960 This is a good sign, right? Yeah, definitely. 615 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,680 Fabulous. We're really good. Yeah. So tell me, 616 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,680 how was Expert Week for you? 617 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,520 You had the challenge of ask me anything. 618 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,480 It was good. I think it was questions 619 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,720 that we don't ask each other every day. 620 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,520 I think the things he said, they were very positive, 621 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:21,600 because there were things 622 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,040 that I would like to change about myself as well. 623 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,160 What are some of those things? 624 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,280 How much you get in your head? Yep. Um... 625 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,360 Your confidence on your own appearance. 626 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,840 Like, if you could see yourself through my eyes. 627 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:34,920 Yeah. 628 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,160 Cos I don't see myself as other people see me. 629 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:43,320 I still see myself as the person that was, 630 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:47,560 um, disregarded or wasn't good enough. 631 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:52,880 But he makes me feel good and wanted and enough. 632 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,960 He does that for me very well. One thing that I see the two 633 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,600 of you do amazingly is hold eye contact. 634 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,360 Yeah, because it's my anchor. And I always tell him, if you feel 635 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,720 like you're losing yourself, find me. And we do that. 636 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,040 We find each other. Beautiful. 637 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,240 I feel like I know the answer to this already. 638 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,080 But how has intimacy progressed in your relationship? 639 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,720 I don't know what you're talking about. 640 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,480 I'm a virgin. We don't touch one another. 641 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,880 No, we're not for it. No. 642 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:22,200 Lights out. Dark, with a blindfold. 643 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,680 I am loving this bond. 644 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:32,360 And I think this is the right time to go to the decisions. 645 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,800 Sure. Keye first. So... 646 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,520 Oh, every single day with this man is an absolute joy. 647 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,720 I honestly feel like I've known him my whole life. 648 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:43,880 It's insane. Like, it's hard 649 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,760 to put into words how I actually feel about you 650 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:50,200 because I've just...I've never felt like this about anyone. 651 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,240 So just thank you for being you. 652 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:56,240 And because of that, my decision is to stay. 653 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,520 Davide? Um... 654 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:11,600 I haven't felt this safe with anyone. 655 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,320 I have no fears with you. 656 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,840 Anything is just easy, even standing in front of you three. 657 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,360 And I just want to keep growing. 658 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:24,320 And as long as you want me, I will choose to stay. 659 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:30,840 Sorry. 660 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,600 Fantastic. All the best for the rest of the week. 661 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,720 Good luck, guys. Well done, you two. 662 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:49,440 Next up... 663 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,240 ..Grace and Ashley. 664 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,880 Yes. Hello, there. Hiya. Lovely to see you all. 665 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,320 Right away, the first thing that I see is Ashley. 666 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,360 Where is your right hand right now? 667 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,200 I'm not touching. Not touching. But he does, 668 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:13,280 and it's... We're good. 669 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,280 We're like, yeah, we're warming up. 670 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,600 Sometimes. We're good. "Sometimes." It's not really changed. 671 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,120 So you're saying there's been no improvement with physical intimacy? 672 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,400 It's just still that judgment of can I can't I? 673 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,360 There's still that doubt. There's no set of rules. 674 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,000 So it's extremely hard for me to kind of navigate 675 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,600 as to when it is OK or when it isn't OK. 676 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,880 I feel differently, I feel like you just do it, 677 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:38,960 and if I'm not feeling it, 678 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,520 I just say. That's my interpretation of how it is. 679 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,320 But then we are having intimate moments. 680 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,480 I can go from that to then not being able to touch you. 681 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,080 And it's...it's confusing. 682 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:55,040 I would love to keep it completely private in the house. 683 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,560 Lock the doors. Seal it up between us. 684 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,640 But we have hit issues. 685 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,480 An issue this week that I know 686 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:04,960 we're not going to navigate just between us, 687 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,160 I know that we're going to need help with, 688 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,760 so we are going to have to speak about intimacy. 689 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,360 I didn't want it being displayed and picked over and, 690 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,320 you know, bits of it being gossiped about here, there and everywhere. 691 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:20,000 But, yeah, we... Yeah, we do need to speak about it. 692 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:21,800 You tell the story because obviously you feel 693 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:22,880 a bit more thing about it. 694 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,360 You tell the story of what you want to do, 695 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,120 and then if there's anything that I want to add to the end, 696 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,120 I can add to show sort of my side of it. 697 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,440 OK. 698 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:34,960 So earlier in the week, Ash is super generous. 699 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,480 We go for a lovely date. 700 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,520 Ash picks up the bill. It's so lovely. 701 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,520 Somewhere between him being really generous, 702 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,520 picking up the bill, and walking home, 703 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,080 I developed this anxiety that I have 704 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,440 to keep Ash sweet by being affectionate. 705 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,240 Grace, help us understand this. 706 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,960 Can we just clarify the anxiety of what is the expectation? 707 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000 This means that I have to give you sex. 708 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:00,920 Yeah. 709 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:04,840 I just develop this anxiety. We then did another date. 710 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,480 We saw a show. We had the most amazing dinner. 711 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:08,840 It was such a good night. 712 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,080 Ash very generously picks up the tab again. 713 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:13,160 This is just so hard. 714 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:16,080 I don't want to do this. You've got to. 715 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:18,360 You're not going to move forward otherwise. OK. 716 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:24,160 We had spoken about, like, a contraceptive... 717 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,120 ..that we might consider using at some point. 718 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,840 I said maybe we should look if they have it. 719 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,120 We bought a contraceptive. 720 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:37,680 We walked back. 721 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,520 I go to bed. 722 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,760 Ash. What about me? 723 00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,560 After the day we've had, you should want to. 724 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,240 But that anxiety about the grand gesture and the sort of 725 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,960 transactional nature kind of played true. 726 00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,800 Can I say something? Yeah. 727 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,920 We went on this really nice meal, went to this show. 728 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:04,560 I wasn't thinking about sex or anything. 729 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,240 I'm just... I didn't do that to have sex with Grace. 730 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,760 I'd done it because it was something nice to do for her. 731 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,560 You took me to get contraceptive. I thought the date had gone well, 732 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:15,920 so I'm annoyed at myself 733 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,920 for getting frustrated, but I couldn't help it. 734 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,320 Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing that, Grace. 735 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,280 And also you, Ashley. 736 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:32,440 So I want to take this notion of feeling obligated, Grace. 737 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:36,800 What about your experience makes you feel 738 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:41,840 as if a gesture means you having to cross a boundary of yours? 739 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,720 I don't know. I....I'm just cautious. 740 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:45,920 Like, am I always going to be 741 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,640 beholden to being affectionate to you? 742 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,760 Will it always depend on my affection? 743 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,720 Will your mood always depend on that. 744 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,760 I constantly feel like you're looking 745 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,160 for that bad thing in me. 746 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,960 It's like we went out to get a pizza and we were really flirty 747 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,640 and touchy and holding hands, 748 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,520 cuddling, like, little pecks, things like that. 749 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,240 We went back to the apartment, put the pizza in, 750 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,800 and then I picked Grace up and put her on the counter 751 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:08,960 while I was doing the pizza. 752 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,560 And I was kind of between Grace's legs 753 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,600 and she was rubbing her nose in my face. 754 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,000 Sorry. Can you stop? You're actually embarrassing me now. 755 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,000 This is embarrassing. Where is this going? 756 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,680 But she was, like, rubbing her nose in my face 757 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:19,720 and it was quite intimate. 758 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,120 And then I went for a kiss and she went, "No, no, I'm not doing it." 759 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,440 So it was like, 760 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,040 for what felt like an intimate moment for me, 761 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,160 was then not right for Grace, 762 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,680 which I understand and I'm being respectful of. 763 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:31,760 But I've done a grand gesture, 764 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,600 and you said it makes you feel uncomfortable, 765 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,120 can't do physical touch because that makes you feel uncomfortable. 766 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,360 You keep saying, I can't do physical touch. 767 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,840 You do do physical touch. There is so much physical touch. 768 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:43,480 And it's insulting when you say, I can't do it. 769 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,920 I never get to do it. It's just so confusing. 770 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,760 I'm not saying that, Grace. You're putting words in my mouth. 771 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,480 Did anyone else hear it? 772 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,040 I'm hearing it all the time. 773 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,800 You keep saying I can't do physical touch. 774 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:11,320 You do do physical touch. There is so much physical touch. 775 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:12,960 And it's insulting when you say, I can't do it. 776 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,960 I never get to do it. It's just so confusing. 777 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 I'm not saying that, Grace. You're putting words in my mouth. 778 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:19,920 Did anyone else hear it? 779 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,600 I'm hearing it all the time. 780 00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,720 I'm not saying all the time. I can't really do much more to prove 781 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,360 to you I'm not the person you're trying to find. 782 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,600 Sometimes I feel like what Ash brings to the group is not 783 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,320 a reflection of what's really happening. 784 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:38,360 It's like an edited version. 785 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:42,160 With the nails thing, like... I wouldn't have reacted 786 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:43,640 if Ash had said it in a particular way, 787 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,120 but in the retelling of it, 788 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,720 it's always more favourable to Ash, in my opinion. 789 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,920 Can you clarify the nail thing? I'd love to. 790 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,560 There was a comment about something I was wearing. 791 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,600 You look nice. But have you got a dress you can put on? 792 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,760 Or put on a dress for me? 793 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,840 And I was like, let that go. Like that's... 794 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,240 Can I...? Can I say what that was from my side? 795 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:04,600 Well... 796 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,640 Yeah. Do you mind if I finish? Sorry. 797 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:10,640 Yeah. Of course. Then the nails. We're in bed. 798 00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,280 He sees that my nails are overgrown. 799 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,640 He's like, 800 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,760 "I like these done, like, keep these up." 801 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,680 So I just said, no-one tells me how to dress, 802 00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:23,040 how to look, how to be. Like, I'll do that. 803 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,640 A couple of days later, the same comment. 804 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,000 Haven't you got a dress you can wear? 805 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:28,600 There was only the one comment with the dress. 806 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:33,440 It was... It was... It was... It was... OK. It comes up again. 807 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,200 And because we'd already had a conversation, 808 00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:37,200 I thought we'd settled it with something else. 809 00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:41,240 I said, not this again. He was like, but don't you want to wear a dress? 810 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,360 Like, don't you want...? Like, isn't it...? 811 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:44,560 What? Wouldn't you want to do it for me? 812 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,600 I don't understand. I've never said that. 813 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,320 So you're saying about me making up, 814 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,920 wouldn't you want to wear a dress for me? I would never say that. 815 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,600 But I thought that was part of the conversation. 816 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,240 Like, why don't...? Why does it bother you? 817 00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,560 So I booked the date and I knew where we were going. 818 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,120 I knew we were going to a fancy restaurant. 819 00:40:58,160 --> 00:40:59,960 It was a surprise for Grace. 820 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000 She put an outfit on and I said, you look amazing, 821 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,640 but I know, like, have you got a dress to put on? 822 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,920 Because I know where we're going. That was what it was. 823 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,720 I'm not telling you what to wear. And the nails thing, 824 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,680 I meant, like, do you want to get your nails done as a treat? 825 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:16,280 I'm not telling you what to do. I'm trying really... 826 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,280 OK. You're trying. And I give you an A for trying, 827 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,080 but I'm going to give you a C for execution. Mm-hm. 828 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:27,640 OK. So now you know it wasn't received well. 100%. 829 00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,920 But you know what your intention was. Yeah. 830 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,720 So what we're talking about right now is 831 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,640 the difference between impact and intention. 832 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:36,000 So my question is 833 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,960 how can you rephrase that to include your intent? 834 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,720 I'm not really sure to be honest, Paul. 835 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,360 Like, thinking about it on the spot now. 836 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,000 So you start it off for me. I would like to... 837 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:49,840 Um, treat you to get your nails done. 838 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:53,480 To show that I... Care about you. 839 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:56,400 Reframing as a question, 840 00:41:56,440 --> 00:42:00,600 but also ensuring that you outline your intent. 841 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,200 I think this is incredibly important, 842 00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:04,120 because what I hear you saying, Grace, 843 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:08,600 is that you have this anxiety around, well, what is the intention? 844 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:12,280 But instead, if it is, here's what I'd like to offer, 845 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,040 because I want to show you how much I care for you. 846 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:16,400 Is that fair? Mm-hm. 847 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,920 Grace, it's about understanding 848 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,400 what your triggers are, what makes you feel comfortable. 849 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,800 You know, having that open communication 850 00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,680 and really building that trust. 851 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:29,760 Like Paul said, there's something there about intent. 852 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:36,160 Because, actually, if Grace can hear that the intention isn't to control 853 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,560 or to want any sex or affection, but it's just a kind act, 854 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,560 I suspect her response will be more positive, 855 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:48,160 but it does require open communication and patience as well. 856 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,840 Yeah. Right. I will work on it and I appreciate it. 857 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:53,240 So then, Ashley, I would ask you, 858 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:58,120 what do you believe Grace could do to help you? 859 00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,400 I'm not really sure any more 860 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:04,880 because I'm struggling with the fact that if this is the way it is, 861 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,600 I can't do this forever. 862 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,400 I'm truly trying my utmost to make this work, 863 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,800 and I feel like I'm always hitting this wall. 864 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,080 Here's what I would love you to do. 865 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:20,640 Ashley, your homework is always include your intention. 866 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,360 OK. Grace, here's what I would love for you to do. 867 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,560 Have you ever heard of the magic ratio? 868 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,160 Hit me with the magic. The magic ratio. 869 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:30,920 Every time something happens 870 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,000 in your relationship where it's challenged, 871 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:38,480 you want to make sure that there's at least five positive affirmations. 872 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,840 You don't have to calculate it five to one, da-da-da. 873 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:45,360 But just think about how every day you are continuing to provide 874 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:49,440 these positive affirmations to your partner, 875 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,840 because once he receives that, he'll know "She's in it." 876 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:54,960 And that's going to give him 877 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,840 the fuel to continue to fight for the relationship. 878 00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,240 Now, you should be doing the same thing, Ash. 879 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,320 And then you end up building a stronger relationship. 880 00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:05,400 OK. 881 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:11,160 Grace, how do you feel right now, in this moment? 882 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,240 I feel... 883 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,240 I do feel a bit frustrated almost, 884 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,920 because it always comes back to, like, 885 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,280 like Ashley makes all the effort. 886 00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:26,640 Yeah, I feel like even coming into this, 887 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,360 Ash was like, I'll let you lead. 888 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:30,920 Like, I'll let you... 889 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:34,240 And then I just feel like Ash just somehow managed 890 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,640 to make it about me being the problem again. 891 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,760 But I do feel that there's potential. 892 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,160 When we're good, it is good. 893 00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:44,880 We are moving forward. It's... It's two steps forward, 894 00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,480 one step back. So I think 895 00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,960 if we keep going and we keep working at it, hopefully it'll just connect. 896 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,120 We've got to work at it. It's just hard. 897 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:55,440 It is incredibly hard. 898 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:00,120 And now I'm going to ask you to do something even harder. 899 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,720 And that is to make a decision. 900 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:04,160 OK. I thought you were going to say kiss. 901 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,960 Oh, my God! 902 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,680 Have a kiss! See if it works! 903 00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:11,640 Look at that. Look how you snapped into that. No, it can be fun. 904 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,960 It definitely can. It can be. It can be fun. 905 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,080 Yeah. If we can go with Ashley first. 906 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,600 So, I'm sorry. 907 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,600 And I'm annoyed at myself for getting frustrated. 908 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,040 I am giving this everything. I have from the very beginning. 909 00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:27,760 I've said I would. When it's good, 910 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:30,640 it's absolutely amazing and I'm really happy. 911 00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,960 I genuinely believe if we can get over this, 912 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,600 we're going to be the strongest couple, 913 00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,400 because I think we're dealing with so many things 914 00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,920 that it'll make us from strength to strength. 915 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:40,840 I'm in it as long as you are, 916 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,200 and I'm really willing to work at it. 917 00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:45,600 So I said to stay. 918 00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:54,360 Grace. 919 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:57,640 This is really hard. 920 00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,880 I'm sorry if it feels like I don't appreciate you. 921 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,680 I came here for a marriage. I'm committed. 922 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:10,040 I really want to make this work. So... 923 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:12,960 ..stay. 924 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,160 What's that under...? Nail polish. 925 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:22,560 Of course it's nail polish! Of course. 926 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,760 All right. Thank you so much 927 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,880 for your honesty and your vulnerability. 928 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,000 Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. 929 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,440 Next up to the couch... 930 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:46,920 ..Rebecca and Bailey. 931 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:54,320 Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Lovely to see the two of you. 932 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,960 Lovely to see you, too. Tell me how your week has been. 933 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,120 Yeah. Another good week for us. We had our little task, 934 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:05,920 which was X-Files. It was nice to open up a bit more. 935 00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,600 I think it brought out a vulnerable side from us both. 936 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,840 I learned a bit about you, and she does wear her heart on her sleeve. 937 00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,760 And she's an emotional girl. Those are all good qualities. 938 00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,920 So I came out of it in a better place, I think. 939 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,000 Just happier. 940 00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,000 Just hearing a bit more of that deeper side. 941 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:21,800 Opening up, being comfortable 942 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,280 to talk about anything and everything 943 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,200 is an important part of a relationship. 944 00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:28,040 So I would definitely say that it helped. 945 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:32,040 Yeah, it felt great to connect with him on a deeper level. 946 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,120 We did get into have we broken people's hearts 947 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:37,400 before and how we feel about that now. 948 00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,480 So I think when you talk on a deeper level with someone, 949 00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:43,040 and especially when you share an emotional conversation, 950 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:44,880 of course it's going to bring us closer. 951 00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,640 There was no conflict around that. We were just talking on a really 952 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,280 vulnerable level and came out the other end closer. 953 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,080 Yeah. What I'm seeing here is 954 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,440 that this is a phenomenal relationship. 955 00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:56,960 There has been no conflict. 956 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:03,480 There was a scale that you were given on a scale of one to ten. 957 00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:06,840 No, I don't know what you're on about. 958 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,920 What's it, Bailey? I don't remember. It's a scale from one to ten. 959 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,200 Ten being love. Love. 960 00:48:12,240 --> 00:48:15,640 And, Bailey, for you it was a 9.5. 961 00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:18,400 Oh! 962 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,720 I don't know what the point five is about. 963 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,280 I feel like it's a bit of me second-guessing myself. 964 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,520 So I probably feel like even though I liked my answer, 965 00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,280 I probably wasn't being true 966 00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:35,800 with myself because the feeling is there. 967 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,880 And I do love you. I'm a ten! 968 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:43,200 So, yeah, it is a ten. And I don't know. 969 00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:47,840 I do love you and I am in love with you. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm like... 970 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,400 That's so lovely to hear. 971 00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,480 And, Rebecca, how was that for you to hear? 972 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,760 It's so nice. Like, I can't imagine my life without Bailey. 973 00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:05,000 And I know that he might be more vocal 974 00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,880 when it comes to the love stuff, 975 00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,000 and it feels a little bit soon 976 00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:16,280 for me to declare that right now, but I feel so deeply for him. 977 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,600 Bailey knows how I... 978 00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:20,240 You know how I feel about you for sure, don't you? 100%. 979 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:21,920 Yeah. I didn't say to get it back and, like, 980 00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:23,160 you can go at your own time, 981 00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:26,840 but I wanted to say it, I had to say it, so... Yeah. 982 00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:30,440 Lovely. I've got a nice, warm, 983 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:33,600 fuzzy feeling right now, so this is good. Yay! 984 00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:39,720 So let's go to a decision. Bailey, if we can start with you first. 985 00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:42,640 You have all the qualities that I was looking 986 00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:44,280 for in a wife and so many more 987 00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,440 that I didn't even realise that I kind of needed. 988 00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:49,080 So really loving spending time with you. 989 00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:51,160 Loving to get to know you. And, yeah, 990 00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,840 can't wait for this journey to carry on. 991 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:57,240 So it is a resounding stay! Yay! 992 00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,360 With a love heart. Oh, let me see. 993 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:00,560 Oh, that's cute. 994 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,360 Yeah. That's cute. That's lovely. Lovely. 995 00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:04,920 Rebecca, what's your decision? 996 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,480 I'm so happy with what you've said to me. 997 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:11,600 Um, and you know that I feel really, really strong feelings for you. 998 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,400 And you make life just light and fun, and... 999 00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:19,080 Yeah, you're just an amazing person. So 100,000,000% to stay. 1000 00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,560 I'm really excited to see where this relationship goes. 1001 00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,760 Thank you. Wish you all the best for the rest of the week. 1002 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,320 We'll see you next week. Well done, guys. 1003 00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:30,120 Well done, Bailey. Thank you. 1004 00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:44,880 Next couple up on the couch... 1005 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,240 ..Anita and Paul. 1006 00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:54,160 Hello. Hi. Welcome. 1007 00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,480 When we last saw you on the couch, Anita, 1008 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:03,600 you said leave... Yeah. And it was all about feeling 1009 00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:06,200 that Paul could be doing more to listen to you. 1010 00:51:06,240 --> 00:51:08,120 How have things gone this week? 1011 00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:11,800 Um, had your challenge. 1012 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:17,760 That kind of opened the doors for Paul to ask more questions. 1013 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:21,120 Anita, did you feel that he was asking you questions 1014 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,400 that was helping him to get to know you better? 1015 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:31,160 Not really. Nothing of the deep kind of stuff. 1016 00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,640 What did he ask you about? Paul asked 1017 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:40,840 do you have the time and the patience to wait for me? 1018 00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,000 And I answered, well, how long is a piece of string? 1019 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,040 OK. Paul, can you tell us a bit more about that? 1020 00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:52,320 From my perspective, time makes all the difference to grow a bond. 1021 00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,440 It takes me a long time. My foundation is trust, 1022 00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:58,760 respect, values. 1023 00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:04,080 And then I build from then, 1024 00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,760 and Anita has emphasised she doesn't have that time. 1025 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:09,080 Well, really, nobody does in this experiment. Sure. 1026 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,840 You know, this is a fast-tracked process. 1027 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:17,520 I feel like I've made an effort, but when it got to affairs of 1028 00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:20,720 the heart, there's not been a lot of depth. 1029 00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:25,000 I sidetracked it slightly, shall we say. 1030 00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,240 You've sidetracked it? I think so. 1031 00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:28,920 Yeah, I think I have to be honest with myself. 1032 00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:31,280 Yeah, I think I should have considered that. 1033 00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:36,400 I would have had to be quicker in being emotionally vulnerable. 1034 00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:41,200 Mm-hm. Paul, when you were starting to come into the experiment, 1035 00:52:41,240 --> 00:52:44,520 you were quite clear that you were ready for love. 1036 00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,640 So I'm wondering what changed for you. 1037 00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:49,840 Maybe I wasn't brave enough. 1038 00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:54,240 Fear of opening up. 1039 00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,560 Being in a vulnerable space. 1040 00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:02,040 It's kind of alien to me because it always ended in failure. 1041 00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:03,440 Hence why I'm sitting on the sofa. 1042 00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:08,240 So, Anita, how's all of this landing for you? 1043 00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,080 Disappointed. 1044 00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,240 The outside is great, 1045 00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:17,480 and I can see why we've been paired and matched up. 1046 00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:21,600 But, like, he's like a huge onion. 1047 00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:24,040 He's got loads of layers to him. 1048 00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:25,960 And the deeper layers, 1049 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,200 we are just on two totally different pages. 1050 00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:29,280 Yeah. 1051 00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:33,040 I'm ready. That's why I'm here. 1052 00:53:34,240 --> 00:53:37,760 I don't think truly Paul has actually been ready. 1053 00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:41,880 Paul and I are... 1054 00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:45,520 ..good friends. 1055 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:48,280 But that's not what I came for. 1056 00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,400 I came looking for love and... 1057 00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:53,880 Yeah. 1058 00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,760 Yeah. That's a very observant comment, I think. 1059 00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:03,120 You came to find love. And I came to find myself. 1060 00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:07,400 I'm going to go to a decision. 1061 00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,280 Anita, to you first. 1062 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:12,360 I know I said I was a bolter last week, 1063 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,200 and I took your advice on board. 1064 00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:20,160 I spent more time with Paul, but I'm still not convinced... 1065 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:26,120 ..we can get on the same path. Um... 1066 00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:29,560 I think the world of Paul, I really do, genuinely, 1067 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,360 from the bottom of my heart. I really do. 1068 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,800 My mindset really hasn't shifted 1069 00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,640 that much, so I've decided to... 1070 00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:04,160 ..leave. 1071 00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:13,160 And to you, Paul. My turn. Yeah. 1072 00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:16,480 Um. It's with... 1073 00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:22,960 ..great understanding. 1074 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,080 Great respect. 1075 00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,320 Back to the golf course. Leave. 1076 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,640 All right. You certainly look like 1077 00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:39,280 a couple of people who have a lovely friendship. 1078 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,960 Yeah, 100%. I enjoyed her company. She's a good girl. 1079 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,200 We are, obviously, the three of us, 1080 00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:48,000 very disappointed for both of you that you didn't find 1081 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:51,440 what you were looking for here. But we are certainly buoyed by 1082 00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,640 the thought that you both learned a thing or two about yourselves 1083 00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:56,680 that, hopefully, you can now take back into the world 1084 00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:59,360 and, hopefully, into future relationships, 1085 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,520 knowing more about what you want and what you don't want, for sure. 1086 00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,560 So thank you so much for all your honesty and openness. 1087 00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,600 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 1088 00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:14,200 Came here for a wife. 1089 00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:16,560 I came here for love. That was the intention. 1090 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:19,120 It's all right. It's all right. 1091 00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,240 I think from Anita's perspective, 1092 00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,640 it needs to be instant. 1093 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,240 I just wanted time to find that love. 1094 00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,960 I wish I could have been able to get vulnerable much quicker. 1095 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:36,120 My pace was a bit slower, my emotion was not very deep, 1096 00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:38,560 and I have to take responsibility for that. 1097 00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:56,840 Next up to the couch... 1098 00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,560 ..Leigh and Leah. Come on. 1099 00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:12,720 Hello. Hello. Good to see you both. Good to see you. 1100 00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:16,880 How are you? Wobbly week. Wonky wobbly week. 1101 00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,240 A wonky, wobbly week. Yeah. Yeah. 1102 00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:20,320 All right. 1103 00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:24,960 So where I would love to begin is when you heard this one was coming. 1104 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:28,080 Oh. We definitely need it. And I was excited for it. 1105 00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,440 I just didn't know what to expect. Yeah. 1106 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,800 Well, I weren't expecting the table of sex toys, put it that way. 1107 00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:36,040 We took a handful of stuff. 1108 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:39,120 I would like to have done the wax candle thing. 1109 00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,480 She did pinky promise. I did pinky promise that we'd do it last night. 1110 00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,600 But I'll be honest, it was a really long day, 1111 00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:45,440 and we were both tired by the time we got home. 1112 00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:47,480 It wasn't the best time for me to get in massage mode. 1113 00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:48,760 Like, I could have had a massage. 1114 00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,880 OK. Another thing I've done wrong then. 1115 00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:58,240 What was the intention of taking the sex toys? 1116 00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:02,840 To maybe go the next step? Or, like, see what happens with them? 1117 00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:04,880 Was that your intention, Leigh? 1118 00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:06,000 I wasn't massively thinking, 1119 00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:09,000 "Oh, my God, can't wait to get into bed and use all these later." 1120 00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:12,360 Being that we're not even at that base yet. 1121 00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,320 Me and Leah have kissed a few times, 1122 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:18,240 but I think we've got a lot to come before we even get to that point. 1123 00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,840 What's holding you back? 1124 00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:22,920 Um... 1125 00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:28,480 There's been this huge light shone on mine and Leah's intimacy. 1126 00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:33,800 And when this pressure has come in, it just kind of feels a bit, like, 1127 00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:37,320 "Can we just, like, appreciate all of the good that we do have 1128 00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:39,600 "for a second and not, you know, 1129 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,760 "shine this light on the little bits that are missing, 1130 00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:43,360 "and that will come naturally." 1131 00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:46,240 Because the intimacy on a physical level could come 1132 00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,320 when we deepen that emotional connection. 1133 00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,520 So let's go to something else 1134 00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:59,360 that I saw creep up. That you, Leigh, were voicing concern 1135 00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,280 with regard to an interaction 1136 00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:04,120 that you thought Leah and Rebecca had. 1137 00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:08,040 There was a moment where I felt Leah was being overfamiliar with Rebecca. 1138 00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,880 I mean, now we've realised in a way it was quite positive 1139 00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:13,040 because there's obviously feelings there, 1140 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:15,240 otherwise I wouldn't have reacted that way. 1141 00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:18,920 OK. Have you investigated those feelings? 1142 00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:20,760 I have tried to. 1143 00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,880 I've been with people in the past that have been overly flirty 1144 00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:26,480 and disrespectful in front of my face, so I'll take that 1145 00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:27,560 there was part of that 1146 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,560 that was a trigger for me from my past. 1147 00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,880 But I wouldn't feel this way about a friend. 1148 00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,880 I wouldn't feel those feelings of jealousy. 1149 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:37,720 I wouldn't, you know, be bothered when we're arguing 1150 00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:41,360 and get my back up and get argumentative in the moment, 1151 00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,320 because if I didn't care to that degree, I wouldn't do that. 1152 00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:47,680 So I've identified that there are feelings there. 1153 00:59:47,720 --> 00:59:49,320 So for me that's positive. 1154 00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,480 You have this feeling of jealousy. 1155 00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:55,880 What is the fear of that feeling. 1156 00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:57,240 Like, not being enough, 1157 00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,000 because I've had that in the past. 1158 00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:01,560 So if you have those fears, what's the desire? 1159 01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:07,720 To be enough and to be respected. Not for you just to be enough, 1160 01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,240 but for your partner to exhibit that you are enough? 1161 01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,200 Yeah. That's what you want. Yeah. 1162 01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:17,800 You want to make sure Leah feels like you are enough. 1163 01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:22,000 Personally, like, it's nice to know that she has got feeling in there. 1164 01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:25,400 She doesn't say things like that a lot. 1165 01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:29,120 You know, Leigh, Leah adores you... 1166 01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:33,520 ..and she wants to be affirmed. 1167 01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:35,520 Yeah. An affirm could be, 1168 01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:38,000 "I do like you. I do care about you." It could be a hug. 1169 01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:40,280 It could be whatever it may be, but the key is 1170 01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,960 that you're consistently affirming your partner. 1171 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,760 Yeah, I'll make more of an effort. I feel like 1172 01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:47,120 I do that with you, quite a lot. Yeah. You do. 1173 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,400 But moving forward, I accept that that's important to you. 1174 01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,400 And I will make an effort to do that. 1175 01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,440 OK. Let's go to a decision. 1176 01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,760 Leigh? It's been a wobbly week. 1177 01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:01,120 It has been a wobbly week. Although it's been difficult, 1178 01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,480 I think it's become so much more apparent 1179 01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:05,920 that there definitely is something there. 1180 01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,400 So, yeah, I want to continue to see where it goes, 1181 01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:13,640 and I want to discover more levels of you and us. 1182 01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:15,720 So I chose to stay. 1183 01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:25,000 I think for me, I do believe there's definitely something there. 1184 01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:28,000 I've taken the arguments really positively 1185 01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:29,400 because it's shown that you have 1186 01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:33,160 got some kind of feeling there. So I wrote stay. 1187 01:01:33,200 --> 01:01:34,440 Wonderful. 1188 01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:44,000 Let's take the pressure off the physical intimacy 1189 01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,760 and let's work on building the emotional intimacy. 1190 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,280 Yeah, I'd love that. All right. Does that sound fair? 1191 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,000 Yeah. All right. 1192 01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:55,800 This is good. Thank you. Thank you. 1193 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,120 Our next couple on the couch tonight - 1194 01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:08,760 Nelly and Steven. 1195 01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,000 Hello, you two. Hello. You all right? 1196 01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:25,040 Well, last night's dinner party 1197 01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:29,480 was rough... You're telling me. ..for you guys. 1198 01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:32,120 And, certainly, just looking at 1199 01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:35,400 the two of you now, it's looking pretty frosty. 1200 01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:40,840 So what has transpired in the last 24 hours? 1201 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:46,120 Um, so we had the dinner party last night. 1202 01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:47,480 There was a lot of opinions in the room, 1203 01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:48,640 which I really appreciated, 1204 01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:50,760 because I feel like I needed my support system 1205 01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:52,440 to vocalise how I was feeling. 1206 01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:53,720 When we got home, we said we weren't 1207 01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:55,560 going to talk about it, but I just said to him, 1208 01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:58,080 "Please, if I ever talk about my feelings, 1209 01:02:58,120 --> 01:02:59,440 "just hear me and listen to me." 1210 01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:01,280 And he said, yeah, and he would. 1211 01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:03,440 And then this morning we were talking, 1212 01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:06,800 and then it turned into an argument, 1213 01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:09,200 which ended with Steven calling me a fucking idiot. 1214 01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:18,640 I allowed frustrations to get the better of me. 1215 01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:20,520 I didn't mean it directed at you. 1216 01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:21,600 I mean, it's just the whole 1217 01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,440 situation is just idiotic to me. 1218 01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:26,600 Like, everything that's led up to it this week has 1219 01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:29,040 just been so frustrating and saying, 1220 01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,800 going around in circles, I didn't. Sorry. Can I just be clear? 1221 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:35,560 Did you call the situation an idiot or Nelly? 1222 01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:38,120 I'm meant to say the whole situation for me is. 1223 01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:39,560 He said, "You're a fucking idiot." 1224 01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:44,600 I was trying to work out that the whole situation is idiotic to me. 1225 01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:46,840 But what you actually... Fucking idiot. Yeah. 1226 01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:48,440 And that's just how it come out. 1227 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:53,400 It's not just how it came out. 1228 01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,360 It's how you chose to say it. 1229 01:03:58,280 --> 01:03:59,320 You're a grown man... 1230 01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,520 ..in control of the words that come out of your mouth. 1231 01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:16,960 He said, "You're a fucking idiot." Yeah. 1232 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:20,160 And I said I was trying to work out 1233 01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:21,920 that the whole situation is idiotic to me. 1234 01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:23,360 But what you actually said... 1235 01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:25,760 Fucking idiot. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just how it come out. 1236 01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:31,640 It's not just how it came out. It's how you chose to say it. 1237 01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:34,000 You're a grown man 1238 01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:36,160 in control of the words that come out of your mouth. 1239 01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:40,760 Is this something that's new for you, 1240 01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:42,680 coming out with a bit of an outburst like this, 1241 01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:45,960 or is that a pattern you've noticed in yourself? 1242 01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:49,280 Totally new to me. I'm a very calm character. 1243 01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:50,360 I'm a very cool character. 1244 01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,920 I find it very hard to actually lose my rag. 1245 01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:55,160 And the reason, obviously, for that, 1246 01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:58,320 which I've opened up to Nelly a few bits about, 1247 01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,720 obviously, my attack when I was 20, 1248 01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:06,800 and I found it very hard then to lose my temper with people. 1249 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:11,240 For many, many years I felt broken because I can't feel those emotions. 1250 01:05:11,280 --> 01:05:14,720 OK. I can see what's happening here. 1251 01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:16,480 You've had trauma and you bring 1252 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:22,200 that into the relationship, and that counts to a point. 1253 01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,080 But it doesn't excuse it 1254 01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:27,360 because the bottom line here is you've said something 1255 01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:29,040 that's really hurt Nelly. 1256 01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,080 Are you understanding the impact 1257 01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:37,080 of your words and behaviour this week on Nelly? 1258 01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:38,280 Yeah, absolutely. 1259 01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:41,280 I think this week my marriage hadn't been a priority. 1260 01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:43,240 Getting the news my stepdad, 1261 01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,800 who's basically raised me, is in hospital. 1262 01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:47,360 So for me... 1263 01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:55,400 You OK. 1264 01:05:57,760 --> 01:06:03,000 So for me this week, I've just not been able to think of 1265 01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:05,920 the marriage, when you've potentially, 1266 01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:07,000 like, broken your rib. 1267 01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:09,240 I didn't come home because I was with the guys. 1268 01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:10,800 That was my outlet. 1269 01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:14,400 Are you saying, then, that the events of this week 1270 01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:18,760 and the way that you've responded are purely 1271 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:20,520 a function of you having a lot 1272 01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:23,080 of stress in your life outside of the experiment? 1273 01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:25,000 1,000,000% it's out of character for me. 1274 01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:27,640 Well, it's certainly surprising to us, 1275 01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:31,040 and it's been really hard to watch this week. 1276 01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:34,600 Um, and now, you know, seeing how much pain you're in, 1277 01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:37,360 I think it does help us understand a little bit. 1278 01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:40,200 You know, this is not the Steven that we know. 1279 01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:43,160 And, Nelly, you're probably thinking this is not the man I married. 1280 01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,720 Yeah, I think I'm just thinking, well, which one are you? 1281 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,400 Is this you? 1282 01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:50,040 Because if it is, then we can shake hands and we can go. 1283 01:06:50,080 --> 01:06:51,720 We can split from here. 1284 01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,760 Or are you the Steven on the honeymoon? 1285 01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:55,560 Because we were so happy. 1286 01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:59,040 My concern here is that, Steven, your behaviour this week 1287 01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:02,440 has fed into Nelly's existing insecurities. 1288 01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:03,680 Yeah. 1289 01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:07,960 Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. 1290 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,360 I just feel like, um... 1291 01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:13,240 ..I don't know whether I can open up, like, 1292 01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:15,240 how I was on the honeymoon, 1293 01:07:15,280 --> 01:07:18,320 because I did, and I feel like I got burned. 1294 01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,160 So it's the same story. 1295 01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:22,440 What's the point? This week has been awful. 1296 01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:24,040 It's been hell. 1297 01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:25,640 Just... I don't know who you are. 1298 01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:29,440 Steven, you're the one with the answers here. 1299 01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,720 It is that stress. What you saw on the honeymoon, 1300 01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:36,920 what you saw on the wedding day, that's me. 1301 01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:40,000 It's been so long since I've actually met someone 1302 01:07:40,040 --> 01:07:41,080 who I've connected with 1303 01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:43,880 and vibed with to the point where I'm like, "Oh, shit. 1304 01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:47,800 "This is a great feeling." I've not heard that before. 1305 01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:49,800 I know because I'm allowing myself 1306 01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:51,800 to be vulnerable and emotional for a change. 1307 01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:54,640 Thank you. This is not something I'm used to. 1308 01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:56,600 Nelly, I'm curious about what you need 1309 01:07:56,640 --> 01:08:01,200 from Steven to start to feel that things are back on track. 1310 01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:03,160 I just need the words that he said this week. 1311 01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:07,360 He needs to put them into action. I just need to feel like you care. 1312 01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,400 It's very clear that this week, Steven, 1313 01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:14,840 through your actions, 1314 01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:17,200 you've communicated to Nelly that you don't care. 1315 01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:20,120 How do you actually feel about her? 1316 01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:25,160 I like you. I really like you. And, of course, 1317 01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:26,240 my actions this week 1318 01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:29,160 would suggest otherwise, but the like is there, 1319 01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:30,840 otherwise I wouldn't be here. 1320 01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:33,520 This is real. I'm in it. 1321 01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:35,680 I would love to be on that path for the love. 1322 01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:38,080 That's what I'm here for. I'm still willing to fight for this 1323 01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:41,240 because that honeymoon thing that we had, 1324 01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:43,360 that's me. That's us. 1325 01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:45,880 This week is not me. 1326 01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:47,280 It's not us. 1327 01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:55,240 With that, we're going to go to a decision, 1328 01:08:55,280 --> 01:08:57,240 and we're going to start with Steven. 1329 01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:02,520 So for me, as hard as this week has been emotionally, 1330 01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,760 after this morning, I thought I'd pushed 1331 01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:08,560 Nelly back even further because of me being an idiot. 1332 01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:12,360 But I'm not going to give up on something over 1333 01:09:12,400 --> 01:09:15,240 the first real hurdle we've had. And this time next week, 1334 01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:20,280 it won't be me being an absolute A-hole to this person next to me. 1335 01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:24,160 It'll be back to what you saw last week, and everything, 1336 01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:27,320 hopefully, going forward to what we want 1337 01:09:27,360 --> 01:09:29,880 for the future because that's what I want. 1338 01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:31,920 So I'm going to stay. 1339 01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:39,320 Thank you. And to you, Nelly. 1340 01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:43,320 So, obviously, this week has been really, 1341 01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:45,800 really difficult for me. Um... 1342 01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:48,040 Everything in my body was telling me to run. 1343 01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:51,680 It... Honestly, if I'm honest with you, 1344 01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:53,400 I've been 50 over 50 for like, the whole... 1345 01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:55,040 Especially after today. 1346 01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:56,720 It's been really, really hard for me. 1347 01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:03,120 I would just feel like I would be doing a disservice to both of us 1348 01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:08,360 if I've not given you a chance to show me that you do care. 1349 01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:10,960 So I've said, I want to stay for now. 1350 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:12,640 OK. OK. 1351 01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:14,720 OK. 1352 01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,520 Steven, 1353 01:10:22,560 --> 01:10:25,360 you've got some heavy lifting to do this week. 1354 01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,960 This is all about showing up for Nelly, 1355 01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,400 showing her who you really are. 1356 01:10:30,440 --> 01:10:34,800 Showing her how much she matters, supporting her. Yeah. 1357 01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:37,440 The spotlight is on you, my friend. I appreciate it. 1358 01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:40,160 Thank you very much. Thanks, guys. Thank you. 1359 01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:41,840 Thank you so much. Well done. 1360 01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,080 Steven's obviously going through a lot. It's really sad, 1361 01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:55,880 and his dad's a priority at the moment. 1362 01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:59,200 But I'm sorry, this week has been awful. It's been hellish. 1363 01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:02,840 I need to see Steven affirm me, support me, 1364 01:11:02,880 --> 01:11:04,240 show up for me. 1365 01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:06,040 He really needs to show me that he cares 1366 01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:09,160 because if he doesn't, then it's just words 1367 01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:12,000 and he's not backing it up with action. 1368 01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:13,760 I just need a bit more. 1369 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:16,880 VOICEOVER: Next time... 1370 01:11:16,920 --> 01:11:19,000 I'm not going to tell the story your way. 1371 01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:20,920 ..Grace and Ashley continue to clash. 1372 01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:22,960 It's like talking to a brick wall, Ash. 1373 01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,720 And as the experiment hits its next phase. 1374 01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:28,400 It's in-laws week. Brilliant. Oh, God. 1375 01:11:28,440 --> 01:11:29,960 Hi. Are you all right? Nice to see you again. 1376 01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:31,800 Will hard truths from loved ones... 1377 01:11:31,840 --> 01:11:33,240 This has probably been the hardest week. 1378 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:35,000 ..spell more trouble for the couple? 1379 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,040 I just don't want you to tell me how to look, how to be. 1380 01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:38,960 I don't need it. I would agree. 1381 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,040 Don't tell me what to wear. 1382 01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:44,160 And it's time for six more courageous singles... 1383 01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:46,080 When I have my happily ever after. 1384 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:48,480 ..to take the ultimate gamble on love. 1385 01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:52,120 Today is now or never. Everything is riding on this. 1386 01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:54,160 But will an overprotective mum... 1387 01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:55,400 Here's my Abby. 1388 01:11:55,440 --> 01:11:57,520 I will not see her hurt again. 1389 01:11:57,560 --> 01:12:00,120 ..derail the first new couple's big day? 1390 01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:01,760 Last thing I want is to be upset 1391 01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:05,560 by some arrogant person that comes along. 1392 01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:08,480 I am the one that vets everybody. I'm the bad guy. 1393 01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:10,440 Beware! 1394 01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:52,400 Subtitles by Red Bee Media